Did you miss MOST’s 25th birthday celebration? Don’t worry, there’s still time to join in and give a gift on our birthday page. All gifts made before December 31st count toward your charitable giving for tax purposes. While you’re there, take a moment to make a wish for what you’d like to see MOST do in the next 25 years. If you prefer, you may call 631-859-1110 to donate. Thank you!
This is at the beginning of the program on FiOS1 News
Thank you all that gave to MOST and the Adopt A Family program this year.
Thank you so much for your gift and for celebrating this benchmark birthday with us! We have been honored and delighted to serve as a resource for support and information for you for 25 years. We have grown and changed a lot during that time and we’re looking forward to more. Please take a moment to let us know what you’d like to see MOST do next. Visit our birthday page
and put your wish in the wish box.
Didn’t give your birthday gift yet? There’s still time. All gifts made before December 31st
count toward your charitable giving for tax purposes. Visit our website
or call 631-859-1110.
Maureen Boyle, MOST Executive Director, shares her thoughts about an unexpected but much needed gift as she starts a new chapter.
I received the most unexpected & much needed gift today- from ME (of all people). Continue reading The Most Unexpected & Much Needed Gift
As part of our new year, new chapters theme this week, we wanted to share a terrific poem about teenagers by Linda Gober, grandmother of the Peake quadruplets and their sister. You can read it on our birthday page. Enjoy!
Are you a parent of multiples that are 3 or older?
Many multiples families struggle with the school and/or class placement of their children. Every spring, the questions start popping up, “Should we home school, send to private school, or send to public school?” “Should I put the children in the same class or separate classes?” “How do you handle the logistics of school, homework, conferences, etc.?” There is little current research on multiples in educational journals.
Lisa Share, PhD, is a full time faculty member at Walden University and a mother of triplets. She created a survey for MOST, approved by Walden University, to ask families the questions most frequently asked. She plans to share the research with multiple birth organizations. If you have multiples that are three and older who either attend school or are educated at home, please complete this survey on Survey Monkey. It will take no more than ten minutes and will help many other families who ask the same questions.
If you would share this link with any of your multiples friends or local multiples’ groups, that would be great. She would love to learn and share as much information as possible. If you have any questions, please email email@example.com.
The survey is open through October 2013.
Thanks for participating!
As 2012 draws to a close, we’re thinking about new chapters and new years. Maybe you’ve just joined the MOST family. Maybe you’re knee-deep in school issues. Maybe you are sending your children onto the next chapter of their lives, whether it be college, the military, or the working world.
For many multiples, it is the first time they will not see each other every day.
We asked some of our multiples “veterans” and their parents to tell us how they feel about being a multiple now that they’re older. Read their comments and celebrate MOST’s new chapter (25 years of service!) with a birthday gift.
At this time of year, we especially remember our lost angels, children who were taken from their parents too soon.
MOST provides a variety of support services to families who have experienced a loss to help them through their time of grief.
Visit our Memorial Page to learn more.
Lorraine Healy, LiCSW Clinical Social Worker and mother of triplets born 5/95 gives us tips on helping our family after a crisis.
As a mother of triplets, I have experienced the joys of parenting in multiple. Unfortunately, in times of crisis, the stress is also multiplied. Healthcare professionals unanimously identify how expecting to get better fuels getting better, and research consistently points to the human resiliency factor. “Crisis does not leave people the same – they change for better or for worse.”
As a trained crisis care provider, I have learned that people react to a crisis in very specific ways. As a mother of triplets, I realize that there are also best practice methods that we can use to approach a crisis with our own families.
When people experience trauma, normal reactions are to:
- Regress to a more basic primitive state.
- Try to make sense of the incident (if we understand it, we can prevent it).
- Try to understand “Why?” – if there is no answer, we will create one.
- Be reactive/lack objectivity.
- Isolate – lack of control leads people to pull away from others and children to act out.
As parents, it is our job to bring some sense of safety, stability and hope back to our family’s life after a crisis.
Our best response to these reactions is to:
- Take care of ourselves first. If we are afraid or frazzled, our children will be afraid. Ask for help if needed. Accept help. First and foremost, we must get support for ourselves so that we are available to do what we need to do for our family.
- Get back to as normal a schedule as possible, as soon as possible. Expect that our children may regress and act out; we may need to lower our normal expectations or bend the rules a bit.
- Share the facts about the crisis, as you know them, in an age appropriate manner. Acknowledge the impact the crisis has had on them, and the family.
- Help children to work out the “Why?” Children will often blame themselves for events that happen. Reassure them that it is not their fault, or anyone else’s fault, and that an event like this in unlikely to happen again, as a hurricane like this has not hit the Northeast coast in over 100 years.
- Help them to gain control by focusing on the safety plan in the future and the recovery. Be a part of the recovery process if possible. Research shows that people who are part of the recovery process, who help others even while accepting help themselves, deal with the trauma better than those who don’t. It could be as simple as a phone call to a friend in need. Encourage the kids to get involved as well, they often come up with very creative ways to help, thus, gaining some control over a very scary situation.
- Allow for feelings: sadness, loss, anger, confusion. This is a process and people will have varying emotions throughout. Losses will be realized over time. Share these feelings as a family and find special ways to acknowledge them together.
a) The danger arises when people get stuck in the negative emotions, which can lead to an overall sense of fear and hopelessness. Research shows that trauma effects increase the more children watch TV about the event. So limit media access to the crisis.
b) Balance sharing the facts, acknowledging the trauma and the feelings, with a more hopeful look toward the future.
c) Focus on the positive, find humor – go to a funny movie, play a game, find time to forget about the crisis and have some fun. The benefits of multiples are that they are built in friends and support. Encourage playtime, allow the older kids to spend time with their peers. Or better yet, let a supportive friend take the kids to the playground while you get some time for yourself.
7. Remember, This Too Shall Pass. I remember when my kids were born; I don’t think I slept through the night for 3 months. It wasn’t until someone reminded me that once they reached10 lbs, it would change and get better. The thought never occurred to me that this was going to be short lived and would not go on forever. What a relief! It’s often easier to make it through a crisis when we remind ourselves that things will eventually get better, this is time limited.
Resources: They say knowledge is power, but information is only useful if we access it.
www.cdc.emergency provides a wealth of information for every type of crisis imaginable.
211 If you or someone you know is having trouble dealing with a crisis, you can seek professional help by talking to your doctor or calling a mental health professional. In many areas you can call 2-1-1 for help or google 2-1-1 for your area.
“When Tragedy Strikes: Crisis Management for Critical Incidents and PTSD” by Bob VandePol, Dr. George Everly and Patrick Clarke
“Facilitating Individual & Organizational Resiliency After Workplace Tragedy” by Bob VandePol
There is much to do after experiencing a flood, fire, tornado or hurricane. It may feel overwhelming. Here are some practical tips from families that have experienced a disaster to help you get back on your (many) feet!
After taking care of your immediate needs: medical care, shelter, food and water it is time to look at recovery. How will you rebound? Continue reading Rebounding from a Disaster
Parenting multiples isn’t always easy, but for families who have one or more children with special needs, it can be extra tough. To provide additional support for these families, MOST started a special needs program and private group on the Family Support Forums
. Whether the child or children have medical challenges, physical challenges, or educational challenges, parents are welcome! To learn more about the program and read a message from the program’s first coordinator, visit our birthday page
MOST’s Adopt a Family program is in its 14th year!
To read about how this wonderful program started and see this year’s listing, visit our birthday page.
The 2012 Adopt A Family list is online. You can help support a family or donate enough to support the whole family. Please consider donating ANY amount to help these children have a more cheerful holiday.
It is said that it takes a village to raise a child, which is certainly true with multiples. The more helpers, the better!
A few years ago, Linda Gober, grandmother to the Peake quadruplets and their sister, wrote a terrific poem about being a grandmother of multiples and paying tribute to all the people besides parents who enrich a family.
MOST is honored to be a part of your village, and wish you and your family a Happy Thanksgiving.