58. What helps a triplet, quadruplet, or other multiple cope with the loss of a multiple birth sibling?
All children need consistent, loving attention from the adults in their lives. The best thing a grieving parent can do is to seek help and support for their grief if they have trouble coping, so they will be more available to nurture their survivors. During the worst times, a grandparent or other trusted adult can step in to offer tender loving care in the parents' absence.
Young survivors might misinterpret a parent's sadness as a sign
the survivors did something to upset the parent. It is helpful to name
the cause of sadness, and say, "Mommy loves you very much and is
happy with you, but she's also sad that your brother/sister died. People
can be both happy and sad at the same time."
might find contact with intact sets of multiples helpful to understand
that life with same-age siblings can be filled with chaos and conflict
as well as companionship. Counseling or play therapy can help children
who seem unusually withdrawn, sad, or focused on death or risk-taking.
The above information was provided by Elizabeth Pector M.D.
Parents who experience a loss may want to visit Dr. Pector’s website.
Bereavement resources Multiplicity.
Bereavement support: The Center for Loss in Multiple Births
Bereavement information and support: Multiple Births: Parent Education & Bereavement Support
Copyright MOST 2005 Updated 10/3/06